RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

Your world can be a thorny place when relationships go awry. Maybe you are arguing with your spouse. Maybe you saw your boyfriend or girlfriend flirting with someone else. Relationships are "where the rubber meets the road" in that they are crucibles in which our identities are tested. Relationships are more like chemistry than physics.

There are often many factors involved in relationships problems. We bring all our past experiences and many expectations into our close personal relationships. As a result, it can get pretty complicated! A common mistake, however, is for people to involve themselves in intimate relationships prior to resolving major aspects of who they are or even past relationships. They seek to define themselves by their role within the relationship. For example, "I’m Jimmy’s girlfriend", "I’m Jane’s husband, or Jimmy’s my boyfriend, or Jane is my wife." This typically leads to feelings of uncertainty about the relationship as the simple roles do not adequately structure a whole identity. This situation can be treated effectively through individual and/or couple counseling.

Another common problem is the expectation that, if your spouse or significant other really cares about you, then he/she should be able to anticipate your wants and needs without you having to state them. Counseling is also very effective at helping you speak to your partner more clearly and also to listen more attentively.

An important problem in relationships is the differing expectations each gender and each individual brings. Many people will, unconsciously, expect their partner to act as their mother or father did, even if the partner has never been much like the person’s mother or father. Counseling is particularly well-suited to clarifying and changing expectations.

Often, relationships end after lasting less than "‘til death do us part." This can lead to a normal loss process and some regression in your development as a person. Counseling has shown time and again a good ability to help people get past relationship breakups and get on with productive, satisfying lives.

Counseling, can help you find your "free spirit" by helping to either improve or satisfactorily bring to closure a relationship.